Rites of Passage

This past weekend I had the opportunity to celebrate my birthday, and it was a pretty great celebration. For me I guess theirs always an inward sadness because I'm getting older, but one of the beautiful things about birthdays are the memories we become surrounded by with the people we celebrate with. Sometimes it means reconnecting with old friends, or acknowledging new ones. However it may be I started to consider the Rites of Passage within our society and culture. This seems to be something that just really lost it's place amongst an Urban and Hispanic culture. IN considering this its unavoidable to consider the value of birthdays, graduations, and even just the value of the transitions we make in life. Sweet sixteens and Quinceanera don't just represent really expensive celebrations, there transitional reflections on the life of child becoming a woman.

As I read John 2 I continued thinking about this idea. In this chapter Jesus performs his first public miracle. This story actually plays out in a pretty amazing way, because Jesus mother informs him that "there is no wine." Jesus proceeds to reply, "My hour has not come yet." His mother had an expectation of him. She knew who he was and what he was capable of. Perhaps what is really lost with these Rite's of Passage is the idea of expectation. Most of these celebrations and times we kids just really aren't ready for. A young person graduating from Middle School, probably doesn't fully understand what going into high school means, and I doubt that someone celebrating a sweet sixteen really understands what it's like to become a woman. But the expectations of family and peers certainly publicly expresses their support and encouragement in these times.

Curiously enough, I have to wonder what the Church's role is in this, and how do we affirm these Rites of Passage. How do ministries tie into graduations and birthday celebrations? And how do we affirm our own Rites of Passage like Baptism, or even first communion? I guess I'm asking this because these landmarks in our lives are monumental transformative moments, and as the church we are called to live in relationship with Christ and with each other. Believing that together we can live in service to him, and ultimately live the best life possible to us on this earth. In reality these transitions have become lost and many times undervalued. Many see some things as to traditional, or to overdone, but the point of many of these moments is to really understand what the transition is. Spiritually during a baptism we become a completely new creation, and this marks a celebration moment, where we publicly declare Jesus as Lord of our life. Likewise similar celebrations all mark important moments that can't simply be looked over, but really have to be acknowledged and celebrated.

My 23 birthday celebration, was literally probably the best ever. It was a great reminder of the old and the new in my life, and ultimately a great look into how far I've been able to come in life. I have amazing friends and family, that I can 100% rely on. I am also able to look at life, and recognize, I'm and adult lol. I knew this, but Saturday was a pretty big reminder, mainly because I realized how much God had help me build in my life in however many years. Those friendships, would not have been possible had it not been for his love and mercy. Time is an incredibly precious commodity, and I'm happy to say I've done my best to honor the time I have spent on this earth.

Peace and Rest

I heard it said recently, that the greatest person we have to overcome in this world is ourselves. David, one of my new favorite characters, lived this true. Sometime around the end of his reign he had a census taken, eventually he realized that this was something God did not want him to do, so he approached God for forgiveness. So as a result, God sent his prophet to relay a message for him, God would allow him to choose his own punishment. He had three choices,“Shall there come on you three^[b] years of famine in your land? Or three months of fleeing from your enemies while they pursue you? Or three days of plague in your land? Now then, think it over and decide how I should answer the one who sent me.” David eventually chose the three days of plague throughout the land. After I read this I had to wondered what it was that drove David to force the people of Israel to pay for his sins, there was only one option of the three that actually would have caused him to pay. Something like 70000, Israelites were killed because of his choice. And eventually he came to his senses, and asked God to hold only him accountable for his sins.

Looking further people throughout the Bible have had this struggle to overcome self, Peter, and Jonah, so many of their issues just lied within. They had been surrounded and exposed to a world that taught the one thing, and in the time of greatest testing they turned to their inward emotion. Peter denied Jesus, after walking with him for so long, he had a fear that overcame the years of his friendship. Jonah, despite knowing God's call chose to run, as if you can run from an all present God.

I consider all this to say, that it's really easy day to day to point our issues and problems at someone else. But there are things that no one else can do. No one else can make decisions for me, I make them, and I live with them. I guess this is so important to me, because I feel as though a lot of time we give a lot of power to forces and people around us, by saying that they've driven us to do so much. Without giving acknowledgment to the cross and how much it's freed us from. My grandfather once told me (And I'm sure other have said it), that Satan's great deception, was confusing you about who you are. Because if we knew and accepted who we were, we'd understand the overcoming power we have through Christ, and the authority we have on this earth.

Yesterday, I got to catch up with Dorothy. Who for many years has been one of my most trusted friends. And no this is not a reflection on friendship, this is actually a reflection on rest. I suppose one of the best things about having a great friend, is knowing that you can honestly share with them. So many times in life, just the burden of knowledge can become so cumbersome. It becomes a constant weight, on our hearts. And oddly enough a driving force to weigh us down from where God is probably trying to move us. I guess in considering this, It brings to reality one of the many strengths in prayer. We cast our burdens on someone who is really able to carry and help us untangle the web of thoughts we are trying to process. This is perhaps one of the most loving things God allows us to do. We don't deserve such access to him, yet freely he has given it to us.

I said that this was a reflection on rest, because I really feel like rest is the releasing of burdens, and the peace of knowing that theres really no need to worry. I am definitely a worrier, and I have very little doubts about God and how much he is capable of, but something within me tends to worry when I have to rely on the people around me. It isn't even a lack of faith at times, I guess it just feels like certain experiences of being let down have become all consuming. Which is why it becomes so important to release those worries to God. Lately, that's really where i've been at. I feel so much uncertainty about my future, and about what i'm supposed to. Or maybe i'm just afraid to make decisions and step out. Whatever it is, it's frustrating, and leaves me quite anxious, and doubtful. So i've just been asking God to show me, and lead the way. And for some reason, I find peace in that. Even when I don't have the answer, things just feel better and more at ease. So many times we don't look to him for his promises, so we never experience the fullness of his word.

The Father's Heart

Reconsidering David's life as a whole, I began to consider what it really meant to be someone after God's own heart. His life was curious to say the least. What distinguished him from Saul, wasn't simply that he never seemed to repeat a mistake, but he had a genuine desire to please and understand God. He also seemed to crown God as king throughout his life. There were very interesting things that set Saul and David apart. In Phillipian's 2 (apparently the chapter of the year) it says (in reference to Jesus) "Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant." How does this relate to David? Well In considering why he was a man after God's own heart, I can't help but wonder if it was simply because unlike Saul and those around him he really understood his role. No, he was not perfect, but unlike his predecessor he understood that his title as King meant very little apart from God. In every battle and circumstance, he would consult with God regarding what he should do. He showed true humility, and was willing to set aside his pride, in knowing that ultimately God's vision for Israel was far greater than his could ever be.

The idea of humility is something so absent amidst our society. Even in Christians. It's not simply humility in the sense of the way we function with one another, but essentially with God. What holds us back from consulting with God throughout our lives? Before David went into any battle he would consult with the Lord to see, how and which way he should go. Everyday we face the challenges and battle of living in this world. Yet so often we are willing to put aside consulting with the Lord. Perhaps it's the fear of not getting an answer, though God may not verbally address us, I don't think it's beyond reason to assume he hears our prayers and leads our hearts in the right direction. Or maybe it's the fear of getting an answer, and the reality that it probably won't be the answer we want. Either way, shouldn't we long to chase after his own concerning ourselves with what concerns him?

Yesterday, I had an interesting day of reflection. I visited my Aunt, and being in the house reminded me of a very faint memory. Awhile back I had mentioned Sister Linda. She was one of my teachers in elementary school. About a month before I began the year, she actually came to visit me. i had never ever met her before, and I assumed maybe it was because she was worried about me as a student or something. I soon learned she did this with every student. She literally would go to visit all her students before every year, just to meet them and their families. She sat in my living room, mind you at the time I was living in the projects with my aunt, uncle, sister, great-grandmother, and mother, in a two bedroom apartment. Part of me was embarrassed, part of me was completely transformed. It was the first school year, that I actually anticipated. I realized that I was going into a year with a teacher who cared about her students, and I knew something was different about her. I didn't understand at the time what a sister was. I just assumed they dressed up in black and prayed a lot. But its so far beyond that, she really was one of my earliest pictures of Jesus. Her humility and actions were such a clear picture, of something not of this world.

I say all this to draw into remembrance the idea that Jesus has always showed himself real to me, but it's so easy too overlook the transformative interactions to which he reveals himself in. How often do we consider the steps along the road to, which God's love reveals itself? And how would reconsidering these moments make God's presence in our lives more real, and even more tangible.

Vision and a Box of Chocolates

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get" -Forest Gump's Momma

I suppose this statement could not be more true. The past few weeks have been, painful, frustrating, challenging, and I'm still not 100%, but such is life. It's interesting to learn in life, that we are creatures of habit, but we are also creatures of circumstance. Some things, can't simply be done, they need to be experienced on at a constant level. I suppose love is such...

So the past few weeks, I guess I've kept everyone on edge. I never stopped reading, but it became very difficult to pour out. I guess I had a lot of doubts, or perhaps maybe I didn't want to admit to myself that there was a very high cost to what I committed to do it, and doubted whether or not I was willing to pay it. I apologize for this epic moment of transparency. On top of the physical difficulties, and my right eye's hyper sensitivity to light. I guess my heart was a little broken, and it's hard to see something as a test when you feel a little broken, and a little weary. I kept reading through the word, looking for exactly what it was meant to bring us, hope. It's interesting how hope is such a motivational force in our hearts. The entire Bible is a story of hope.

Reading through the Old Testament, I'm realizing just how much it points to Jesus, and how much he fulfills our hopes and dreams. Throughout the book of Judges, it says that "there was no king, every man did was right in his own eyes." Interesting that the people were living with no physical king, but they had access to God and he was their king, and he allowed such a thing. He trusted that the hearts of men had been formulated with good. That within all of us their is desire to do good, and their is an understanding of the differences between good and evil within us. Still Israel cried out for a king, a physical leader, so they could be like surrounding nations. Thousands of years later, Jesus comes on the scene, and he becomes the King. He restores all of the vision that God originally intended for us, and I really believe he restored us because God ultimately believes in our capacity to do good, to love others, to do the right thing.

We often consider the difficulties in having faith in God, but do we consider how difficult it must have been to have faith in us? Our God who has worked tirelessly throughout history to ensure that we all have a fair and free will opportunity to access his presence.

I spent this past weekend with my family in Georgia, and for the past few weeks I've realized how important family is. It isn't perfect or something you can put into a neat little box. Family is messy, but somethings remain. Family will always love you. Yesterday, at my mothers church her pastor John Fichtner (who is awesome btw), said something really cool, in reference to the Father's Heart, he basically broke down three things that they were. (Hopefully I don't mess it up). One of them was the family, in thinking about this I had to consider how important it is in general to be attuned to the things of the father. When we consider God's plan for the world, it's much easier to understand God's plan for us as individuals. God purposed every family for each other, and we are all called to a standard of honor to the family he's given us. Don't get me wrong my family sometimes drives me crazy, but I love them. And my life feels most at ease when I am around them. Not just my blood, but the family God has blessed me with. The friends that have always treated me like family, the church family that gets freaked out, and goes to praying when somethings wrong with me. In Georgia family is so emphasized, and so honored, and everyone kind of treats everyone like family. In the city I guess it's easy to lose sight of that because their is so much emphasis on self, but what we miss out on is the best of ourselves. The parts of ourselves God has given, to teach and complement us, even when we don't wanna see it that way. God's love stretches out through every relationship, every time were forgiven by a loved one, every holiday where we honor a mother or a father. We honor and recognize his love for us, in those he's blessed us with. <3

Religion, Relationship, and the Emptiness Between

I recently began reading a book by Mike Guzzardo, called "The Great Divide." (I know what your wondering, how can she read anything else, lol well i found time) In it he says something very interesting in reference to the disciples, "Because they responded exactly the way he asked, they experienced God exactly the way he promised." This thought has been toiling through my head since I read it. How often do we consider the practicality of this within our own lives. So, then I further explored what those promises. Galations 5:22-23 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." Curious is it not? What limits are experience with God? The great reality is that we are the great limiters. Whether it is through our excuses or our compromise, we limit ourselves from experiencing the fullness of God's promises.

As I consider myself, I consider the exchanges that occur or need to occur in my life. Jesus said, "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." My perception throughout my faith journey camProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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to an incredibly crucial point, that is starting to unveil itself even more now. The best life I can possibly lead, is only possible by my submission to God and his will for my life. Anything less than complete submission, is me settling for less than God intended. As I read through the Old Testament I realize just how important this exchange really is. God was constantly reminding the Israelites that if they submitted to him with all their hearts, and obeyed him in all their ways, he would fulfill all he had promised.

So often we look at obediance as a chore, not considering that the outcome is the best life we can possibly lead. Consider the fruits of the spirit, one of the many promises we see throughout his word. As we live in obediance, we in turn experience the benefits. Oddly enough, we look for these benefits in the world around us, when eventually we all have to face the fact that they are incredible temporary. God offers a constant state of peace, a consistent expression of his love, and the list goes on and on. But if we never meet our part of the exchange, how can we recieve the benefits.

It's very easy to get caught up in obediance, to the point where we view it as a burden. Living in obediance isn't simply something we do to get to heaven, it's the most beneficial thing we can do for ourselves on this earth. Our lives are testimonies to his glory and his love.

Beyond the Emotions

Getting back to a schedule, is def. not easy. Let me review some of the things I've missed in the past week in a half. So before this whole thing with my eye began, I had promised to review some of the Battlecry whoas, but in light of everything that happened it seems so irrelevant, other than to say there were def. some ups and downs, but overall (with the exception, of this infection I enjoyed it). Looking beyond that the following week gave me a real opportunity to be reminded of all those people around me who really care. Primarily my grandparents and my sister, who were literally taking care of me, placing in my medication, making me meals, helping me do pretty much everything. On top of the many others who called texted, visited, and sent prayers my way. It's always a beautiful reminder to know how much people really care.

In light of this, I've been really considering somethings in my reading. Primarily, this concept of being made in God's image and what that means. I feel like I may touch on a delicate subject, but in light of the amount of times the word says "He Loves," "He is Jealous," and such. I began to wonder what character trait's we take from God. What are the things we experience? And what are things we take and twist? Something like jealousy, can be natural yet so easily accelerated into deep rooted anger and resentment. Though with God, we see it's rooted in his character of Righteousness, with us it seems so rooted in our love of self. In other word's his jealousy comes from being our creator, having a right to be such. Ours tends to stem from a desire to serve our desires and intentions. Though this isn't just about jealousy specifically, this is really about emotion, and furthermore the purity of emotion that we find in God's character.

I mean quite obviously he's the creator, but oddly enough we have the privilege of being made in his image.

Going through the early Old Testament, my frustrations were always in the constant doubt that the Israelite's had. Even being lead by the presence of God, but it made me realize just how strong human emotion really is, and how much the sin in humanity, is rooted in this sense to serve self. Where God is so rooted in Love and Righteousness, and there is such a beautiful purity that pours out of that. So much so, that Jesus came to resolve what we could never do for ourselves.

I've been seeing the love, in those who reflect the pure loving character of God, and live the example of Jesus. Being with my grandparents who truly Loved and Served me the way I would imagine Jesus would've really showed me that. Having those close to me express such concern for me and my well being showed me that. I see love in God's creation, but more in what it was meant to be, not what we have necessarily become. There is something beautiful about the people of God living the way he meant us to be, loving and serving one another.

Updates

I just wanted to clarify some things about my absence. For those who may not already know, I have a considerably serious eye infection, which has minimilized the vision in my right eye, making it very difficult to do much of anything. This includes, blogging, reading, answering text messages/ emails, or crossing the street. Due to these reasons, I stopped blogging, but have been trying to continue my readings to as much as I am capable of. I am very thankful to all of you who have been praying for me, but be aware that no matter what God is still good, he is still faithful, and I still love just as much, if not more because he never left me. Like I tell the youth group all the time, Walking in relationship with God does not mean that circumstances and trials won't come, it just means that we will be qualified to face them knowing he is with us. As a good friend advised me, I just wanted to leave you guys with something. This is video from a youth conference I taught at recently, hope you enjoy.

Part One: http://vimeo.com/22122769

Part Two: http://vimeo.com/22122961

Much Love, Peace and Mad Blessings