Day 5-April 3- Doubts and Changes

My Eyes are in Exodus, but I think my heart is still in Genesis. There seemed to be so much fear, from so many men of God. Who were seeing God, literally. It's amazing that it isn't easier for people considering that he lives in us daily. Even in Exodus, Moses sense of doubt as God is commissioning him forward, was well astonishing. The doubt of God's people was even more worrisome (Hello!! Manna from heaven!!) Anyways, considering the idea of doubt, I wonder why this is such an easy human trait to cling to. We doubt God's love? His presence? His spirit inside of us? We even go as far as to doubt his sense of right and wrong? I get so fascinated by the idea that there are shades of gray. No, there are no shades of Gray....There are shades of Grace though. Every time we consider something a "Gray" area, it's when we call for the coverage of Grace, but it's ignorant to think that it comes at no cost, We pay the price for our actions. The same way even Moses and his people did. So many of us never see the promised land in our lives, we get so caught up in the impossibilities of a life for God, that we reject the idea of a life with God.

I decided to do a little NYC wandering yesterday, in an effort to get some clothes for a job, I'm working today. I really only intended to go to about one place, but in light of the beautiful day I figured I'd wander. It became a real sight, to walk the streets and see how much the schematic of this neighborhood has changed. I also had to reflect on how much people in this neighborhood have changed, and in turn how much the world has changed. It seems like people just don't live and communicate in the same way anymore. Yesterday, as I passed through St. Marks I actually saw two girls who really looked like they would normally had no business being together, as there styles were.....different. One was a young Muslim girl, which was clear by her headdress, the other clearly a "skater girl." They were both skateboarding, at least the not so skater chick, was trying. And it was just an interesting sight, how two people who from the outside look so different and they end up together. Their they were sharing their talents, and learning their ways. How often does God do this in our lives? He takes things that from the outside, don't seem to fit with our perspective, but are for the purpose of his plan. He definitely does this through relationship, i.e. I def. did not think that me and Rachel would ever be best friends, we were very different. BUT even with our sense of doubt towards what he asks of us, we doubt it cause in our eyes we see them as so opposite, when in fact the things God asks of our lifestyles are intended just as much for us, as they are for him. Though we become living sacrifices by honoring him in this way, we tend not to look incredibly foolish throughout the course of our life, and in turn not pay the consequences for such foolishness. Another example, The Facebook Craze! So yesterday, I saw a status update of someone in my news feed that said "INSERT NAME is a cheating whore." What's funny is apparently soon facebook will be charging a monthly fee (Apparently they've realized that people are willing to pay for the right to make ignorant remarks towards each other). Now I know the person who said this, and believe me not her finest moment (BTW not from my church, so don't bother looking). But even in light of the way we communicate, imagine how much of a headache we would save, if we took each offense and handled it God's way instead of our own. Our communication, or lack their of has literally destroyed so many relationships, and tainted so much of our character. And in the end our words and actions are so much more a reflection of us than of those we comment about. God loved us so much that he made it very clear how to live our live not only for him, but to the best that we were capable of.

In light of this I really wanna consider what it means to lead a holy purpose driven life. Not just obeying, but looking behind what that obedience is purposed for. That I would never become annoyed or frustrated with the things God asks of me, that I would rejoice in knowing that it is for the benefit of both of our relationships, and in light of the world I encounter on a day to day basis.

People say i'm strange does it make me a stranger? My best friend was born in a manger. -DC Talk, Jesus Freak